Getting Married to another Caste in India

Just watched ‘Vicky Donor’ yesterday. While I have already heard and read a lot about the different subject, great story and crisp performances in the movie, what I liked the most is the way the Punjabi-Bengali marriage was dealt with.  It is an agony how almost all the Hindi movies easily neglect a subject this important.

Unless, you or someone in your close family has tied an inter-caste knot, you will not understand the challenges that come along. We being the middle class Indian have a pre-conceived notion about every other caste in the society except the one we belong to. We have made it a habit to think that only the things we do, the food we eat, and the customs we follow are right while the food, habits, customs, and even the language that other caste people speak are inferior to ours. 

For instance, a North-Indian feels that South India is all about idli, dosa, coconut oil and dark skinned people. On the other hand, a South-Indian’s view of North India is about spicy food, Taj Mahal, and loud, ill-mannered people who are habitual of using slangs in every other sentence they speak. While these notions/views may not be entirely right or wrong, the point I am trying to make here is that we do not care to explore. We are happy with what we know or rather what we believe.

All these views and beliefs are shaken when someone from your family want to marry someone from other caste. While it is easy to make notions as an outsider, it is difficult for us to accept an OUTSIDER as an integral part of our family. Thanks to the changing scenario (and IT jobs in metros), more and more Indian are going for inter-caste marriage. Let us consider this as a positive sign and our first step towards exploring or giving a chance to understand other caste before criticizing it.  

Writing without Worries

After years of silence, I felt like writing a blog post on one of the busiest days of my life. It is a strange fact that the thought of restarting my blog never strikes me when I have nothing to do. It always occurs when I am overloaded with work and I let it go thinking that I will write when I have some spare time. But that actually never happens. So today, when I have piles of write-ups to complete, I have to cook, I have a doctor’s appointment, and what not, I still decided to write

It is not that I have something very important that I wanted to note, but after writing hundreds of pages for others, writing for myself gives me a wonderful feeling. Even the yummiest of chocolate cake cannot suffice this feeling. Especially when I open my blog and read my past writings, I just love every bit of it.

Back then, the posts were childish, the English was bad, the grammar was compromised, but I still loved it. Because that was something written straight from the heart without worrying about anything else. Today, when I write, I read it 10 times to ensure that all commas are placed correctly, the language is right, the flow is good. I might be able to create a good write-up but not that innocent a story as I used to. In the aim of writing a good piece of write-up, I end up compromising on what to write.

It is not that attention to details is something bad. It is just that every human loves to have that innocent face that looks wonderful even without a bit of make-up.