Monday, May 14, 2012

Getting Married to another Caste in India


Just watched ‘Vicky Donor’ yesterday. While I have already heard and read a lot about the different subject, great story and crisp performances in the movie, what I liked the most is the way the Punjabi-Bengali marriage was dealt with.  It is an agony how almost all the Hindi movies easily neglect a subject this important.

Unless, you or someone in your close family has tied an inter-caste knot, you will not understand the challenges that come along. We being the middle class Indian have a pre-conceived notion about every other caste in the society except the one we belong to. We have made it a habit to think that only the things we do, the food we eat, and the customs we follow are right while the food, habits, customs, and even the language that other caste people speak are inferior to ours. 

For instance, a North-Indian feels that South India is all about idli, dosa, coconut oil and dark skinned people. On the other hand, a South-Indian’s view of North India is about spicy food, Taj Mahal, and loud, ill-mannered people who are habitual of using slangs in every other sentence they speak. While these notions/views may not be entirely right or wrong, the point I am trying to make here is that we do not care to explore. We are happy with what we know or rather what we believe.

All these views and beliefs are shaken when someone from your family want to marry someone from other caste. While it is easy to make notions as an outsider, it is difficult for us to accept an OUTSIDER as an integral part of our family. Thanks to the changing scenario (and IT jobs in metros), more and more Indian are going for inter-caste marriage. Let us consider this as a positive sign and our first step towards exploring or giving a chance to understand other caste before criticizing it.  

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